Note to Kevin (thought I'd share)

so i finally got out of that place. I finally broke free and am moving on with my life. I thought I'd share this with you since I know that you think about how "something's missing" often. it's incredibly freeing and exciting to follow your dream. but it's also quite scary not being able to cling to the old feelings of longing anymore. i have nothing to complain about anymore. nothing holding me back. scary... i hope that you find it in you sometime soon to put yourself in a position to be as scared as I am right now.

Florida

Finally moved in!!!!



Feeling kinda weird right now... Maybe I need to sleep... esp after last night's romp lol

Seriously annoyed.

Can't stand middle school drama. Arrogant bastards need to be put in their place.

If I wanted you, you'd know it.

Go fuck yourselves.

Just finished watching "Spotlight 25" again on iTunes. For those of you who haven't watched it yet, it is a special that was on Lifetime this year on 25 year old American women. It's awesome!

Anyway, it's making me realize that I need to not treat this last 4 weeks like a free-for-all. I need to start preparing for this new life:

• Yes, I already lost 10 lbs. But I am by no means in shape, I do not have good eating habits. I need to make my health a priority.
• I need to read over more of the cases Stetson sent me. I also need to start reading the news and studying up.
• No more bad men. Game over. I deserve better.

Tomorrow is a new day. I'm too smart to be so dumb.

Fourth of July

Wow, can't begin to explain last night. Had an amazing time with Kate and Benny! Also, I very much enjoyed our "post-party" with the house of gay guys haha!! Phenomenal!!!!

Anyway, had a few moments of tears last night thinking about our girl. Nancy texted me at about 10PM to tell me that she will have Bri tomorrow, so I'm welcome to come over. Can't wait to see that little face.

Having a hard day with everything. Can't get all of this 2007 crappyness off of my mind.

I think it's time for me to start seeing things for what they were, rather than what they should have been or could have been. I need to try to make peace with this whole mess and stop struggling against it.

It's time to move on.

I'm just too far from where you are...

I miss Mandy. I'm having such a hard time in this moment. It will pass in a few minutes, as it always does, but right now the pain in my chest is intense and the tears won't stop coming. Just reading her name on the screen is painful. I miss her. I hate this.

I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

Past Boyfriends

Over the last five years I've dated several young men, all falling within the category of "fixer-upper".

Over time, I've been able to look over these relationships and pulled out whatever lessons I could possible learn from them. Most have yielded the same lesson:

STOP DATING FIXER-UPPER TOWNIES AND FIND A MAN WITH A COLLEGE DEGREE WHO HAS SOME AMBITION!!!!

I've berated myself for my poor decision making, but I've just discovered the loop-hole in dating my type:

You won't feel bad about dating a loser if he was REALLY REALLY HOTT!!

Just saw a pic online of a former ex (circa 2003) and I by no means felt bad for having dated his undereducated immature ass because I was overwhelmed with the feeling of "YAR YOU DID!!!"

So ladies, if you are going to date my kind of man, make sure he's fucking hott.